I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
I tried to cut him off and he said "I was the president of a fraternity for 3 years, I could outdrink God."
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
Dedicating my hangover to whoever the hell I hooked up with in the bathroom last night.
just kidding, dedicating it to the gods of mexican food. omnomnom
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
I don't remember coming in last night, but apparently I ate a piece of pizza because when I woke up I had pizza crust stuck to the back of my thighs.
My now ex hook up buddy realized I was hooking up with others when she saw my spotify sex playlist making appearances on fb. fml
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
Do you think I can get away with quoting Work Bitch by Britney Spears in my speech?
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
It doesn't matter if it's only been 3 days since you last changed your sheets. If your fuck buddy comments on how your bed smells like sex, it's time to change them again.
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