I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
She vajazzled her vag. It was as useless as putting earrings on chewbacca
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
I just heard myself say the sentence "I'm gonna go to the bank then take a nap". 8 year old me just slapped my present self through the space-time continuum for being an old fuck.
Imagine the quality of nudes you could send with a selfie stick
Don't tell him that you hope he dies in a boring missionary position with his wife. That doesn't go over well.
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
Did you put my shoes in the freezer.
Nope. I did however put them in the kiddie pool you pissed in in the living room before Tyler put them in the freezer. Ass hole.
Randomize
