Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
i had the deer in headlights look when she walked in and i was digging in her hamper
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
He had a shameless baby voice when he was talking to my dog. There's no way I'm making it through the night with my clothes on.
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
I'm not sure whom I'm texting but I put you in my phone as last nights fuck budy, and I'm just curious if I left my clutch with you?
"Because this is an ongoing legal matter" is how his morning after sex text began. So...
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
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