so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
my roommate just said, "don't look at it, just put it iin your mouth"
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
Had a student tell me he misses the old Four Loko. He's in 7th grade. No one is allowed to claim I started drinking too young ever again.
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
So I come home yesterday and my brother is like "watch this" and it turns out he's been retraining my dog to come running when u say "anal"
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
It's 2 am on the long weekend and what am I doing? Sitting alone in my room eating chips and queso and watching Rio. Fuck I need to get laid.
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
Randomize
