If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
i'm 85% sure that if you don't visit me i will do something awkward and potentially dangerous to you in your sleep involving chocolate milk and a sham-wow.
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
My mom just walked in on me and my girlfriend about to have sex. All she said was "You're lookin like a fool with your pants on the ground.."
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
Accidentally gagged on my toothbrush and puked up a Walgreen's cheeseburger. 1) I am not going to be on top of my game tonight. 2) Since when do I have a gag reflex? 3) Walgreen's cheeseburgers are awesome.
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
Randomize
