he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
my new years resolutions dont apply when im drunk
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
Yoga may not b such a good idea for me today. My liver is obviously in cahoots with my colon to pay me back for the past 24 days of misuse . Downward dog could have catastrophic consequences.
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
When Pitbull's songs sum up your life... you know it's time for some serious life changes.
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
Randomize
