Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
Call me when you wake up. I wanna start drinking but I'm giving up hope on my life if I drink alone before 10 am
3 things. 1. is this real life 2. my liver hates me 3. keg race tonight
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
Every time I stand up, gravity punches me in the tits. This is horrible.
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
I just want to sit in my tub, drugged out of my mind, and watch the green lantern cartoon while the world as we know it ceases to exist outside my bathroom door, Okay? Is that REALLY too much to ask?
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
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