try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
I was pretty stoned. I thought I needed a seatbelt at the restaurant.
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
The ice cream man just told me to use protection.
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
Congrats on dating a convict, there's no fitbit badge for that one.
Do you know who these girls are? They're baking a cake, making chicken enchiladas, and bringing me beer everytime I finish one.
Randomize
