He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
I told my boyfriend my favorite food was strawberry poptarts, now my email inbox is getting spammed with nude pics of him with his dick in a poptart box..
You were so drunk that some guy dressed as Harry Potter pointed his wand at you and screamed "Accio SHITSHOW"
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
Randomize
