He disabled his match.com account in front of me
yeah so this exboyfriend of yours reckons you're still together and he punched me in the face cos i slept with you last week. you might wanna have a word with him or at a minimum change your facebook status.
Can you tell me we didn't drink from a fish bowl we found in the bathroom last night? I know it would be a lie; I just need to hear it.
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
He came to the party late, didn't bring tacos, and then asked what shennanigans we were getting into. I swear I will never fuck another hipster.
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
Randomize
