I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
you know it's bad when you need sunglasses to open the refrigerator
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
It'll be a romanticized airport meeting until I'm judged for sitting on his face in the terminal
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
Did you ever hear the story about the time I did blow in a bar bathroom with the #1 ranked golfer in the world?
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
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