it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
.......he just venmo charged me for the burrito I was eating while he broke up with me
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
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