My hair reeks of homosexuality.
So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
why did I try to FaceTime with 311 last night?
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
I JUST MACED MY OWN FACE
This is by far the best text I have ever woken up to.
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
Text me if something catches fire and I will put pants on
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
Randomize