let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
I love having hate sex.
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
Paige is home safe.
Actually, she's here now, punching me in the face. You should've kept her keys.
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
So uh... Did you mail me business cards that describe my profession as "tortured soul"?
Randomize
