Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
I'm a simple man, with a social life most psychopaths would cringe at
ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
I am his drunk Jesus. I will love him from afar because he's my little lamb
After getting kicked out of the bar, you proceeded to McDonald's, ordered 30 nuggets, slammed them all back in 5 minutes and then stole 3 traffic cones...how you only got charged with drunk in public is beyond me.
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
Randomize
