I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
Gave a homeless guy 3 bucks earlier. Just saw him at the bar. He bought one beer and left. Happy to see my 3 dollars was well spent
Our cab driver looks like Kim Jong il, and you're missing a fascinating conversation about Katie wanting to be carbon dated.
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
I've also decided that the true test of whether or not you should marry a girl is if she will willingly blow you while you eat Oreos.
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
I should never have to text my best friend asking if she eloped again last night.
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
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