Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
even in the morning, she still thinks my british accent is real.
i just looked at my contacts and realized i saved the pizza hut girl's number as "fckucin pizza" the other night.
Stuck behind a lady in her 70's purchasing a plastic handle of vodka and nothing else. She is writing a check. Hello future.
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
If he's dead I'm so gonna get the blame. I have his passport, keys and his tooth in my purse.
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
Its hard to hear the music in here over his nasal whistle. And his breath smells like old milk. I think I need more vodka, and he better be buying. You owe me.
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
Put viagra in his coffee. I did that with Geoff last month and three hours later I had bitten through a throw pillow and gotten a noise complaint from a neighbor
Randomize
