My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
I'm chugging Gatorade because i drank something called a trashcan and someone named Gianna diamond has my credit card number, and I think I might have ruined my life.
Based off of the soaking wet clothes/towels/rugs, Eiffel Tower statue and monkey in the bathtub, I'm going to assume drunk me took a bath.
Are you really alive right now?
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
i just woke up from a 4 hour nap, still drunk, to make mac n cheese.
Randomize