As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
I'm going to try to be reasonable tonight and keep my drink count out of double digits
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
Sitting in bed reading a porn novel off my phone and accidentally just made Siri start reading the most graphic part aloud. FUN FIRST NIGHT WITH THE NEW ROOMIE.
It's my birthday weekend! I'm getting a Brazilian and he's going to fucking Arkansas. Where the fuck are his priorities?
When your job has killed your spirit to the point that you don't want to flirt with the cute, tall guy at Enterprise
GIRL PLEASE. GO BACK AND POP THE TITTY OUT
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
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