I wish you were here to vomit in your hand.
so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
I just walked past a guy banging a chick in the back of his car.
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
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