let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
You drew a lightning bolt on your eye and stomach in eye liner and made me sing Poker face with you in harmonies. I never knew you were still a music major when you were drunk.
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
I am listening to Jack Johnson and wearing the sweater your Mother made me fuck mother nature I am in my happy place right now
Randomize
