ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
My roommate threw his shoe through our window and I came out of my blackout kicking holes in my wall. Pretty sure Edward 80 Hands won't be happening anymore.
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
Desperation looks like a $1 bottle of vodka and warm Cuban tap water.
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
He texted me at 4:30 in the morning saying "I'm not drunk but I think you're beautiful" and then a facebook message at 6 am saying "hi" and the subject was "oh"
I can't come. It's so cold my uterine walls have frozen together like a cherry popsicle.
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
She can't take shots?!? Literally if I could list that as a skill on a resume I would
Randomize
