I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
you started texting yourself and saying they were "divine messages from heaven" then you threw up on stacie's piano.
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
I jizzed in his mayonnaise and put it back in the fridge. Shouldn't have stolen my weed.
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
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