Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
I don't make the first move. Ever. Unless were playing monopoly cause that's my shit
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
I can’t tonight. I’ve got to see about a penis
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
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