and everytime i fart i feel like in your heart, you can hear it
between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
He plays me like an instrument...he is the Carlos Santana of my vagina.
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
Considering showing up at your house with coronas. I'll be wearing a sombrero and that's it.
Party city is having a sale on maracas
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
I forgot how weird my hair bleaches and now I'm a calico
You can wake up to my rainbow of failure
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Randomize
