sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
Please stop hiding condoms in my house. If I want to have sex with you, I will let you know. FYI, my mom found the ones hidden behind the milk. She was not happy.
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
He says he invented a new sex move called The Redbird that we can only do when I'm on my period. Should I be concerned?
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
Can my mom come with to the bar? Prince just died and I feel like I need to take her out to cheer her up.
Jealous. I want an iud. Maybe there's a late night bodega that'll insert one for me
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
Randomize
