We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
Tom just texted me he's Tindering from his hospital bed while they're running heart tests on him.
That's dedication to the game.
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
There's lube on my homework. #priorities
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
Randomize
