I'm gonna cuddle the shit out of you tomorrow
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
My sister was borrowing my phone when the sext came through. She just said "wow. He's got a nice dick!" Then went on like nothing happened. Outed by a dick pic and its no big deal. Best sister ever.
I almost just texted "I'm lonely" to my gynecologist.
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
Randomize
