We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
shit pants at work. discarded underwear.
just showed this text to the guy at west elm. luckily we did not stool ourselves in the midst of the ensuing hilarity. so you're commando now?
yep! most awkward part is that i was a few feet away from a client, talking and looking him in the eye. i've never stooled while looking someone directly in the eye.
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
the fact that he forgave me for making out with the bartender is proof that i can fuck my way out of anything.
I legit just woke up on my couch, snuggled up next to some guy who's wearing my roommate's pink bathroble. What the fuck do they put in those shots?
I'm going to get like 25 drinks at their wedding and just leave them sitting around or give them to hobos.
I am not being the messenger for your booty call.
I spoon fed you cheerios when you were black out drunk. You owe me one.
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
My general physician told me i have the emotional capacity of a 2 year old, While he refilled my xanax prescription. That's service!
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
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