every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
We make out exclusively when we're drunk. That's like a relationship for me, right?
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
When I picked you up, you were drinking Maker's Mark out of the bottle with a crazy straw.
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize
