I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
What's the proper amount of time to avoid my 76 year old neighbor that caught me with my pants down, peeing in my driveway at 5am?
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
trying to figure out why the only thing in our freezer is an expired loaf of bread, a white t shirt, and a receipt from taco bell for 37.50 from last Friday
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
Randomize
