if i'm ever as drunk as the girl in front of me... kill me.
Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
I woke up with dick mouth, a raw vagina, an empty bottle of vodka and the best man next to me. I also found my thong by the pool. Best.Wedding.Ever.
I'm going to make an art book filled with pics of me peeing in every bar bathroom I've ever been in. Dedicating it to you. You're welcome.
Things I woke up with this morning: half a mcmuffin, orange hair, one shoe and a friendly german man. Tequila was a brilliant idea.
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
I arrived home at 7am wearing nothing but my underwear and a fedora. I ate half a dozen deviled eggs. Put Katy Perry on repeat. And cried myself to sleep. We cannot go out on Thursday anymore
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
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