Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
There is nothing wrong with watching parks and rec all day then getting blackout drunk by night
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
Randomize
