Then my mouth guard fell out of the hole, so that's how the dog poop got in my mouth.
Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
I drank 13 shots. Which is unlucky. Which is why i threw up.
you threw up because you drank 13 SHOTS
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
I was scoping hash out of our weed jar with a spoon and I realized we need to buy actual utensils. This plastic shit is killing me I've broke 3 spoons
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
Was asked out on a date tonight on Linked In. That creepy genius at apple that touched my butt one time in the back stairwell. I thinks it's fair to say I've hit rock bottom.
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
Also. Picked being late to work over the maid finding my vibrator. Life choices....
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