Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
Not only is it unacceptable to be bar hopping alone at 5 o'clock. It is definitely unacceptable to do so with a lobster
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
I told him not to mix beer with his Dr. Pepper...his reply was "i'm a grown ass man i'll do what i want". Judging by the sounds coming out of the bathroom he regrets not listening to me.
So I found where you barfed in my house. Just wanted to let you know that my cat barfed on the kitchen floor in a show of solidarity
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
Randomize
