Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
i got so high last night i cried hysterically for like 5 minutes because i dont have any superpowers
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
Oh wow. Was walking and just saw her in the pool, fully clothed, ranting on an alligator float. I guess i should go get her before security gets here.
Did you know that if you hit someone in the head with a frozen loaf of bread you can knock them unconscious?
I just used a baby fork as a roach clip. I am totally the cool aunt.
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
It’s a good thing I’m the only one in the office today. My boy toy stopped by and now there is jiz all over my desk and couch
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