Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
You started laughing mid-cry and when I asked you said, "my tears taste like vodka."
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
Found out I slept with someone who likes Pitbull. I really should get to know someone better before I sleep with them.
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
Turns out he's not a Doctor Who fan, I mumbled Alons-y as I went down on him. He asked who Alan was. No more drunk sex for me!
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
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