Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
Nothing is more awkward than taking a dump while someone is crying in the bathroom.
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
In other news: I found out that my mom used to fuck my newest fuck buddy's dad when they were in school.
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
Please tell me you woke up next to the hot one cause his ugly friend is still snoring in my bed and my favorite panties are ripped.
Wingwoman of the year. I'll buy you dinner tonight and a new thong. It was THAT good.
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
That's really the only reason I'm dating you, the prospect that I might get bacon
You reached new levels of laziness. After we woke you up to take shots with us, you stayed in bed so you didn't have to move when you were drunk and sleepy
Randomize
