it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
She wouldn't go home with me cause I forgot her name. I didn't realize it would matter after she danced with her vagina on my face
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
By the way when you were super fucked up last night, you ate cat food and tried to tell me it was healthy for you
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
My mom added me on Snapchat which means I am officially done with Snapchat.
Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept
Text me some of your sweat
Randomize
