google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
I was in the bathroom and heard my brother scream "YOU FAIL!!!", and I swear to GOD, I thought my penis was yelling at me.
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
Everything about him screamed your future.
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
Your first words after putting out the flames, "how am I supposed to eat girls out with my top lip burned off??"
Yeah no more flaming everclear shots.
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
You can't just say you're dying of terminal cancer everytime they try to card you
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
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