he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
I'm sorry, when did "I like your shit" become an acceptable pickup line?
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
I let a drunk straight girl spank me with a metal paddle at the bar tonight. Remind me to never do that again.
Randomize
