i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
Nothing better then your mother meeting someone you randomly had sex with and him introducing himself as the guy who rocked her world once.
before tonight, i was terrified of what tequila would make me do. but all it did was make me hook up with a movie star. sooo basically tequila's my new fave
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
That sad moment when the drawer I used to keep condoms in now has poptarts in it..
Fun fact: nipples work on touch screens. Tell your friends :)
Your mom asked you why you had bite marks all over your arms and you answered her by yelling "I HAD A SIESTA!"
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
Randomize
