what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
her roommate was in the bathroom for over an hour so i volunteered to take the dog out and i shit in the bushes
my boyfriend just told me he used to have genital herpes. I was gonna have sex with him, but now it's SOOO over.
what kind of stupid fuck tells you that BEFORE sex? he is definitely not a keeper.
I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
I'm your Election Erection Connection
I retroactively revoke all sex we've ever had.
Also the bouncer Straight up told me my id was shitty and I should get a new one. But he let me in anyways because #boobz
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
I love you as a roommate, but you GOTTA start using the door dude..
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