You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
Come help me clean. I know we won't be getting our security deposit back...but I would like to move out with our dignity.
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
So, no matter what happens today, hold on to this. At least you're not naked under your ex husband's trench coat being stopped by the police who also work with your ex husband. Long story. Actually, not a long story. That's it.
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
Randomize
