You admitted to me in secrecy that you want to jerk off a unicorn.
just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
I had to talk to the cops at my front door in a bathrobe, with the buttplug still in.
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
Fuck it, I'm going to make my own dick pic album since iOS 10 won't do it for me.
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
Randomize
