Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
Why did every guy I have ever slept with have to come into the library today?
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
My mom is such a hoarder. I found a deer candelabrum last night, it had antlers has candle holders. It was like a redneck menorah.
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
I'm gonna keep a minimum of five drink promise to myself
You mean maximum 5?
Know what's awkward? Having a couple of moving guys watch while you detach the bondage cuffs from your bedframe, that's what.
CODE RED CODE RED MY VIBRATOR IS BROKEN THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
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