dude i'm inner monologue high
Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
When this bachelor party is over and your life is in ruins, you have my permission to die.
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
Currently googling hangover cures, which looks a lot like working from the perspective of my boss.
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
I twisted my ankle while drunkenly playing in my adult kickball league. Now I'm having to use my grandpa's cane to walk at this party. I am so single.
i should probably stop doing things just because i think they’re funny. i’m not going to.
Randomize
