but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
You were sitting at the bus stop holding hands with some Polish girl you just met, who was just as drunk as you were, and you kept trying to light your Kit Kat and smoke it.
I should have kept drinking, a coma can't be as bad as this hangover
You're like the curious george of whores
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
I'm never celebrating Galentine's Day again. It was a whorrific mess.
Woke up in my boxers on a subway with a phone number written on my arm in lipstick..Best Night EVER.
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
Randomize
