so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
Randomize
