Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
You called me at 2am singing 'happy birthday' while screaming 'I fucking love you' verses, all while eating a burrito and taking a piss off your apartment balcony
Yeah I know, the people below me already told me
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
He's so vague sometimes. Like dude, we've been friends for 3 years. I don't need you to be vague, I need you to be inside of my vagina.
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
You microwaved all of my silverware, I don't care if you spent all your money on tequila, you're paying for this.
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