Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
I'm hungover as fuck. My vagina hurts. I locked my keys in my car. It's about 93* outside. We're having sex in the pool when I get home
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
Its a little weird going to a wedding where I've screwed the bride and my wife has screwed the groom. Great wedding though.
You declared war on your ex and then had sex with who you thought was her sister. No one knows who she was but we think your dick might be in danger.
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
I needed tweezers to get my thong out of my ass this morning.
Dude, he wouldn't have sex with me during halftime cause we were rooting for different teams and that would be "bad juju", I had to settle for 69.
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
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