didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
I'm so hungover i just sang the alphabet to see if "Z" comes after "W"
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex
I have 20 seconds to get my life together and look presentable.
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
last night I used snow as a chaser
Randomize
