The guy in front of me in line at Starbucks looks kinda like Danica Patrick except he has a huge boner.
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
i awoke yet another morning with penis breath. ive been so generous santa has to bring me a shit ton of presents
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
I'm drinking red wine & feeding anchovies to the dog. I'm really not picky about what kinda of company I'm in.
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
Do you remember whose house we're in?
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
Randomize