The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
I was so high last night that i'm 89% sure my roommates set up an obstacle course for me and timed it. Not positive.. I think one of the challenges was pairing shoes
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
One of my friends took me out last night for a bday celebration and I just now remembered that a man blew fire balls across the bar in honor of my birthday... How drunk do you have to be to forget that?
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
I lost my wolf penis dildo in my garage. I should probably find it before I resume my garage sale tomorrow...
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
But we have bathrooms and they dont
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