No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
i was born a porn star she said
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
I've really got to stop smuggling half full bottles of beer out of bars in my purse.
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
Thinking about wearing all black to the bar tonight since I'll be attending my liver's funeral.
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
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